Tuesday, September 23, 2008

janice dickinson is a bat outta hell?

i swear i saw


woman almost run me down this afternoon while i was walking in my neighborhood.

she was in a black explorer (?) and as i was crossing the street she came flying out of nowhere, coming down the street so fast, i was in the middle of the street before i saw her, walking across. neighborhood street, but lets out on fountain, which is a major east/west corridor. so i'm in the middle of the street, walking along in my green and white dress with buster in a little cage on my arm (taking him to see Io, the neighborhood parrot, at the Mickey Hargitay Plants on the corner, which is one of the most beautiful places to go and breathe oxygen in this hood).

anyway, i'm halfway across already and i stop, to make sure she's gonna stop, and believe me i look both ways when stepping out, too many peds get mowed in this town. (and being a traffic reporter i get to hear about em.)

she's going maybe 50. with about 25 yards to go. and i stared her down, the way tim does when we're crossing the street and he puts on his mean, challenging, don't-fuck-with-me-i'm-a-big-guy face, when someone's doing this, coming on at full speed even though you're walking and it's a neighborhood.

it's too dangerous to walk, without making eye contact with drivers, and california drivers are pretty mellow and pedestrians are pretty mellow and i get people waving and smiling at the birds when i take them out, or if i let a car pass i'll get a nod and a thanks, and normally, because i'm chickenshit, i wouldn't stare directly at a woman coming on like gangbusters in a big black SUV with dark glasses and hair and lips like Angelina J.

but i didn't back down. held ground for me and buster bird. stared her down, don't you dare screw with me and my sweet baby.

then today i open my edition of the Globe which i grabbed at the store cause it's got that great photo of palin totin' arms in red white and blue bikini (see below). and inside is a photo of this woman and the black SUV and it looks exACTly like the one i saw today and exactly like the woman. the globe had a photo of her parking in a handicapped space. and as you'll see from the link, she's quite a charmer!

whore-ay for hollywood!

on the other hand,


is pretty cool. skin is always good.

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