Thursday, February 4, 2010

Citibank Needs New 50 Million Dollar Airplane


I get it. Now I see why CitiThugs wants its money from me so badly and in so many ways. Bend over, here comes CitiFlight!

Dear President Obama

Everybody, come on.

Start emailing the man.

Things are Fucked.

Dear Mr. President,


I guess the Citicard Mafia don't really care that me and us other peeps out here gave them 300 billion in the Big Bail of 2008. Because today for no reason at all they jacked up my interest rate to 29.99 per cent. Not because of anything I did, mind you, according to the nice customer service lady I just spoke to.

Seriously, I've always paid my bills on time. Citicard's going to get their money. I pay my debts and I pay them ON TIME and always have.

Seeing as it's my money and my debt, as well as my taxpayer dough that's beeing squeezed out to feed these hungry monsters who apparently have us all in their clutches---doesn't it seem like, with me holding up my end of the bargain, these people should, too?
They've been flouting the law and making all of our lives hell since the great Bailout (in which they received 300 BILLION---BILLION! of our money) showed them they can Get Away With Anything.
Mr. President, you've got to stand up to this. This is the mandate upon which you came into office. That Peace Prize was a signal you are on the right track. But every time I hear you speak in public, you sound like you're on the defensive. Like you're not sure you really should be standing up for degenerates like me, who just take and take and take from society (this is what the bankers would have you believe regular citizens are, so that their own crimes go less noticed. For example, all those irresponsible people who shouldn't have taken out mortgages).

Mr. President, it is now 11:10 am on February 4, 2010, and I just received a call from a machine from the other Mafia, the Health Care Mafia. It was a call from a debt collector, and no human was on the other line. This debt collector, CMRE Financial Services, is calling on behalf of UCLA. The Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical center is living up to its namesake's legacy by trying to extort outrageous amounts of money from me, because Blue Cross, contracted with my health insurer, AFTRA H & R, is denying their claims en masse. I have spent literally hours on the phone with these people and recorded all of it. I am on the verge of posting the calls online to display what they are trying to do----get money from me, that they cannot seem to get from each other, because these people who get 30 per cent of every one of my health care dollars apparently cannot figure out what to do with a pen and paper and computerized records.

Mr. President, I voted for you in full faith that the person who ran for President would be the same person who would be sworn in. YOU ARE DIFFERENT than you were. You had passion and outrage. Now you seem overwhelmed and scared. And that scares me.
We are behind you, but we don't know if you are in front of us, or leading us anywhere we need to go. We are wondering if it's not "yes we can't." Your books are moving and have a beautiful vision of what this country could be. But first there needs to be law enforcement, and it seems like it's just another decade of white collar crime in the making. We need you, Mr. President.

Cynthia Burkey

These ladies at Citi were very nice people. I enjoyed talking to them, actually. Courtney is in Texas and has a smoky voice and an easygoing manner. She was the last part of the call, the highest-level I could get to before I had to go back to work here in the studio. The first lady, who I won't name because I don't want to get her in trouble, was actually very sympathetic and responsive when I spoke to her about how much trouble this is causing me, and when I pointed out that I've always been a good customer and never stiffed them.

If people at Citi are always this nice, I don't mind talking to them again. So I will call back and beg some more. I will keep calling until I get somewhere, even if I have to call the somewhat handsome Paul Galant, ( 212-559-1000) who is a young sprout just south of my own age group who is the King of CitiCards.

Here are the conversations I had with the lovely ladies at Citi, who sit in front of computers all day just like you and me, and who have to talk to people like me who are frantic about what the hell to do.

If you call, be nice to the customer service people. They're people and it's not their fault their employer is forcing them to play their role in the robbery machine. The first woman sounded truly distressed and for that reason, I will never reveal her name. I'm grateful she spoke candidly and compassionately with me, she did not try to preach at all, which is what some of these people will do if the robots have taken over their brains.

These two women seemed human, which is all anyone can ask.

Mr. Galant, I don't know about him. But I'll be giving him a call, definitely.
I'm not a troublemaker and I have always, always been nice about conflict resolution. My problem is being too nice, being scared to speak up. This blog is my therapy.

On the second recording, C. tells me that since I have "two" balances and one started off at a promotional rate, she can't give me a deal to lower my APR. When I ask for an explanation, she doesn't have one.

At some point, I will reach someone who can explain things to me, but for now I guess I'll be back at this next week, talking to more reps and trying to see if I can figure out what to do. Or maybe Mr. Galant will talk to me. I hope he's as nice as these two ladies were.

Please let me know if the recordings are not working for you, readers and listeners.