Sunday, September 7, 2008

a few miles from fairbanks

s. here ya go, chief.

j. oh, no thanks, you go ahead.

s. she's locked and loaded for ya...

j. no, I really cant any more.

s. oh, come on, chief, there's plenty a things movin out there. look, there's a nice rack on that far ridge if ya squeeze er off just right.

j. go ahead, I'll watch.

s. I got my new nitrex optiscope on here. it's like theyre bout 5 feet away.

j. no, thanks. see, my arms dont like the weight.

s. oh, I'm sorry, chief.

j. me, too. I havent shot anything or anyone in over 40 years.

s. must be an awfully empty feelin, chief.

j. it's hard, but hard is what got me here, right?

s. sure, chief. whatever. say, when you were up in them jets, did ya ever shoot a whale? I've always wanted to shoot a whale.

j. no, I guess I was more into killin gooks than whales, but I probly would have if I'd seen one. not too many whales in the south china sea, I guess. they sorta like...

s. look over there, chief! that's Our great white alaskan polar. ever shoot a bear, chief?

j. you shoot polar bears?

s. only if I'm real hungry.

j. arent they protected by...?

s. and who's to know I'd like to know? pfft. freakin burr-o-crats! do they really think they can tell us what we can and cant shoot in our own back yard?!? besides, we gotta get em before they all float out to sea on their little pint size icelantises. tell ya the truth, they move a little slow for sport. and theyre so bigga target, well, it's just not that much fun. hell, my trig used ta bean em with the back ho if they got too close to the summer trailer up on the slope.

j. I see.

s. we also got a 22 in the humma humma if you wanna take out a few seal-a-bobs before we head back in. we'd have to fly a bit to the coast, but you could have yourself a seal a meal for dindin tonight if you like.

j. well, I dont know.

s. anybody else wanna shoot the moose? I dont wanna have all the fun.

d. I'll take a squeeze.

s. & j. sorry, dick.

j. I'm sorry, dick. youre still in the deep freeze.

s. and this aint your back yard, bubba. maybe when we get back to town you can kick a little indigenous native butt after we finish our moose moose and schnapps.

j. now That is why I picked You!

s. and I thought it was cause you just liked walkin behind me on stage.

j. well, that, too. damn. if I only had my arms back for half an hour.

s. awww, chief. you could sweet talk an eskimo pie.

j. stop it.

s. no, really.

d. I'll take a squeeze.

s. & j. shut up, dick.

s. we are so Done with you, mister.

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