Wednesday, March 31, 2010
as I understand it, I was fired for one real reason...I wasnt Abby's turd slave.
like you talked about on MySpace, the reason she gave was I wasnt paying attention, not connecting. which, in the final analysis, was true, but there was more to it than that.
I was engineering the talk show, fielding emails and interacting with the screener. at one point I looked around and the guest, one of the field reporters, was showing me 2 fingers, which I immediately interpreted as "cut 2" on "cd 1" since it was the first bite he had called for. so I played it.
afterwards he went into abby's office and complained I wasnt "paying attention" cause he wanted cd 2, track 1. in hindsight, I should have asked him on-air to clarify which track.
fate had other ideas.
when abby laid into me for it I told her it was really busy that day and it's impossible to keep all those balls in the air at the same time and not drop one now and then. but she didnt accept that. she started sending out emails about how we should all be perfect in the face of really obvious mistakes coming out of her office every day.
psychological rule #7: when you cant handle your job accuse everyone else of having the same shortcoming. she actually Said, "be perfect!" I remember how incredulous that was. I remember we'd have these little mental health meetings with HR where they said over and over, "dont hesitate to try things, dont let mistakes rob you of the reward of trying". then she turns right around and lays the 'be perfect' mantra on us. I couldnt believe what I was hearing and lost all respect for her. period.
later that week we had words over something else and she said, "I dont trust you" to which I immediately replied, "I dont trust you either". I saw it in her eyes...she was shocked at my insubordination. she was ready to fire me right then.
have I told you all this? anyway she needed a witness so she brought the exceedingly clueless yo who heard me jump at her bait of going over the talkshow "dissaster" to which I raised my voice saying "sometimes it gets hectic and the people giving me cues have to be very clear about what they want! we've been OVER THIS!" and with that she got yo and jeff to sign the death warrant.
it was a sham, but I was so disgusted with the whole scene by that time it became a mercy killing. not that it didnt cause serious serious psychological trauma and a financial sink hole. if I hadnt been a survivor I might have lost it completely. that is if I didnt have music and teaching, not so much for the money cause there I still went from 50G to less than 20 with a mountain of debt that doubled the next few years. but I had other things to live for. being on the radio was not my whole reason to get up in the morning.
Glenn offered to put in a good word other places which was very sweet. I was always an artist, not a journeyman microphone johnson. I was ready to hang it up. at least for a while.
then, over time, I realized how much my soul was worth as my self respect and music/education community respect blossomed. I feel like my priorities are right where they should be.