beautiful...that was beautiful..... your perception of things matches mine to the very nuance. it's funny we haven't discussed this stuff for soooooooooooooooooo many years and yet we come back to do a blog again and yet you still see things the way i see them, totally. maybe you managed to influence me with your "department of the resistance" ideas. huh? huh? i bet you did. or at least you think you did. i think i had them anyway.
in the world of the station i was at, no one, especially another female, was allowed to surpass her boss in terms of getting attention. even if on-air personalities are _supposed_ to get your attention---that's why you put them on.
so you're fucked either way. if you're too good, ruth will cut you off at the knees; and if you falter, she'll cut you off at the knees then, too. whatever you do, you're not there to assume that you have any equal part in the relationship at all. you're to assume that you exist at ruth's favor and that without her, you would be no one, and nothing.
and god help anyone who doesn't act accordingly.
it's funny that when you don't act accordingly, you find out real fast who your friends and enemies are. but that was something i always had trouble sorting out anyway, so i can't totally blame the station for that. but what i can blame them for is for rewarding behaviors that are not in the best interest of the station, the organization, (because that might compete, take attention away from, the glory of Her who rules) but in rewarding behaviors that tear people apart; the backstabbing, the lying, it's a whole culture which is honestly so shockingly different from anywhere i've ever worked, and while i was there we'd sit around and say, 'it's this bad everywhere else, it sucks everywhere.' and when things suck, your world tends to start looking like a place where everything sucks, but the thing is: everything doesn't have to suck.
and there are plenty of places it truly doesn't! people have an infinite number of different ways to be in the world, and solve problems. it's really not all nasty out there. blamefests and bitter rivalries do not rule everywhere. genuine friendships can and do form. peace and balance can prevail.