Saturday, December 26, 2009

sometimes I lose hope

when I cant afford vitamins or floss,
when I look around and see the loss
of integrity, sincerity and priorities
of a once proud honorable country,
I wonder why we even stay instead
of merely fade away into the dark
recesses of history...the way of the
Romans and Greeks, the Persians
and links to our not that distant
past when those who died died
for a reason and they knew the
reason. they wore a flag that
stood for standing up when
there was need beyond greed,
beyond money driven old fart
egos and just because we can.

they didn't die to waste ammunition
so more could be made and wasted.
they didnt die for natural resources
or to stick our forces up other folks'
noses, to build our stations to build
their nations, to pay young punks in
Black Water shirts to lay waste to the
promise of other nation's dirt so we
can say we didn't do it, so we can
say we would never do it when
we did, we know we did and
everyone knows we did.

hey, it's embarrassing.

not to mention wrong,
dangerous and really
dangerously wrong.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I agree with Everything you've said.

down to the last xyz. so I wont repeat what you've said. just a simple "Hear Here!!!"

I heard on Fresh Air they finally nabbed a few Blackwater butt weasels who may go bye bye cause they killed over a dozen Iraqis for no reason whatsoever.

my comment on your post?

Corporate America, not all of course, but the big ass mofos who have so hidden their greed and vomitory policies, who wrapped themselves in bottom lines and logo designs, who think theyre doing God's work by being the infinite jerk, the ones who value their custom beamers over their loyal customers, who think competition means you bury your competition anyway you can, the assholes who have zero empathy for anyone but their golf partners and only if They drive their golden calves into your get the drift...the guys who Gladly, Joyfully, OrGasmicly screw their moms and babies if it means one more "good job!" bonus from any place they can get it...those MBA savages who think Scrooge was a Saint and Madoff was an unlucky bastard and that's All he was...I would LOVE to see as many of those guys as can be rounded up taken and made part of an Guantanamo prisoner exchange program.

That's right...put the bastards in Gitmo, give them one can of alpo and a doggie bowl of water at tea time. and then give them credit cards to buy shoes with. Make them buy shoes and designer ties without the income to pay for it. run the cards up and watch them squirm when they see their bills go up and up and the APRs go up and up cause theyre rampantly overdue and soon they owe 6 figures then 7 with absolutely no way to get out from under.

no money, no food, no lawyer, no hope, no life, no way out.

and absolutely put up web cams Everywhere so the rest of us can enjoy the show. watch the ratings soar as we "let" Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld drop by once a month for conjugal visits as a matter of professional courtesy. then sit back and wait for sweeps.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

An Ocean of Smarm

I found out today that someone whose work amazes and inspires me, recognized my name and said I was funny. I frickin' love that. I cannot reveal who, where, why, or how, not on this blog. But I don't think there's a cooler feeling.


This is a grand idea. I went ahead and sent one.

What bothers me though, is that while I am proud of my brother's service
and have little doubt that he will be a force for good wherever he goes, I also feel that our now-neverending foreign wars have been a mistake. Guantanamo broke so many international laws, we are aggressors and thugs and the Iraq war is an illegal war
that killed the very soldiers which are so valuable. We have held prisoners without having to tell them what they are charged with. This is a total violation of the laws we afford our countrymen, and they are men who were defending their country when we came in and started dropping bombs and yelling about terrorism. Where is the proof that all that violence helped anything? Except for the bank accounts of revolving-door defense-whore politicians whose open agenda to sell us War Stuff is right there on the table? Is that the American dream?

I was looking at the troop responses and they always say "We do it for you." We know and we are grateful, at least, I am grateful for this loyalty and care to one's countrymen. But what kind of care is this if we go into the world and drop bombs on it all the time? Vietnam? Gulf war one? Iraq? Here's my problem...

Iraq war killed 600 thousand civilians....and left two million homeless. Can you imagine if someone came into * _our_* country and did that? Your mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, innocent children, killed, your homes bombed, your cities devastated, and this is "setting them free?" Is it any wonder they can't wait for us to get the hell out and have said so in front of the world?

We shouldn't be doing that stuff out in the world. And so I am mixed about my feelings about this. I would like to have had an option on that card to read: We adore you and miss you and your service is needed here at home. Please come home. We want and need you here. Our country is the one that needs help right now. Spiritually and on issues of trust. We need to know the answers about 9/11, not just go out and bomb countries to look like badasses. All those people dead, all those children dead, and all our men dead? And no mention of these numbers on TV ever at all? It's scary, there is no news left on TV, it's all about tabloid stuff or Scott Peterson or whatever. It's just bs. The real news is on youtube. Or Comedy Central with John Stewart. That's about it for credible mainstream news resources. If we lose the net neutrality struggle, Tim says, it will be like Rupert Murdoch having control of Youtube. The internet will come to be dominated by private interests who will control content and access.

This is not what we created the internet was an answer to dreams in this country where our lifestyle demands that we live far from each other and drive cars and not get to see other human beings as much as we'd like or as much as may be healthy for us as a society. The internet is here because we desperately needed it and some good men made sure it happened. It has changed our world. We can talk to each other in a way never before known. We can get our truth from indpendent sources, look at who pays their bills and consider that agenda, and then consider who we trust. I trust the smaller noncorporate adventurous journalists ever time, true American heroes like Jason Leopold, who is actually acting in the interest of his society and yet is labeled "lefty." Enron was raping the State of California, which is We the People, and Leopold, the more he learned, the more he pushed Dow Jones Newswires (he ran the LA bureau) to publish stories that told the truth about the crap that was going on at that place. (Which was very cozy with powers that be, Kenny Boy being like glue at W's side all through the campaign, which made the White House palpably uncomfortable when Enron's activities were exposed.)

For his trouble, Leopold got set up on that indictment thing. He thought he had a story, and announced indictments of Carl Rove. Then within hours he was proved wrong. He had multiple sources, and provided them all. One of them denied talking to him, which can happen with journalists who publish controversial stories. Paul Krugman spoke up for Leopold, and Krugman has impressive creds. Someone must have needed to discredit him real bad. Why else trouble with an independent journalist who managed to piss off people half the time anyway? (I like Jason Leopold a lot. He's never pissed me off, but it sounds from his book like he pissed off people because he told on them when they did bad things, things that actually were subversive, and wrong. The people he pissed off are the kind that say everyone has to cheat, and everyone cheats, it's just the way of the world. Their rationale is that it is worse to make a mistake (gasp!) and be caught, than to turn away the temptation to play the system and eff over people you don't know, who've trusted you with their money. To them, the worst part is if they get caught, called out and punished. They don't see that the worst part is if they get away with it, and come to justify it more and more their lives, at the expense of others who they will never see or know, but who are real human beings who could work for several years and not even be able to afford the drapes in their front room.

But people believe the poorest and most helpless, disenfranchised people are the biggest threat to their money. All those weak, stupid people will drag ME down!
Fucking immigrants! Welfare Mommas. Lazy drugged-out stupidasses. Sponging off of everyone else. Meanwhile, the masters of the universe lounge high above us in the clouds, in their private jets, worlds away from anywhere they would have to mix with us, the great unwashed 'regular' people who most of us are. One woman I know of gets off her private jet and into her Prius. The weirdness of it makes my head spin. At least Schwarzenegger is honest and drives a monstrous vehicle that hogs the road and guzzles enough gas to insure that we'll be groveling to the Saudis for many years to come. Except when he rides his motorcycle with his kid on the back. That's cool.

But, back to our country and how it represents itself overseas, by our military and by the multinational companies that are made possible by airline flight and electronic data transmission. The military are there for us. These companies are there for profit, and to use land and resources (cheap slave labor without the oversight that would be required in the US). They don't represent us. The military should represent the interests of We The People, not the interests of corporations who want to make money and do a lot of bombing and reconstructing. Halliburton anyone? If the military represents us, they should decide for themselves where a patriot would be right now. Would he be fighting in a foreign land, or would he be fighting to inform himself against the deeply disturbing propoganda that's laid the way for our military to kill people overseas in the name of freedom?

Fuck it, take your oil, all you guys, we'll think of something here. We're creative and ingenious people who will be what keeps our country strong, not the corporate welfare queens draining the life out of our treasury. Or the private banks holding politicians by the gonads while controlling access to cash. Over and over and over througout history, and yet people always feel trust in and believe in the authorities, the aristocracy, the grey men who seem to shake with rage when they have to share power with anyone. Our country is not a kingdom. President Cheney is out of office. The mainstream is polluted and we don't have to swim in that ocean of smarm. There is another America out here, one where people know the founders' intention was that authority should not have a choke-hold over liberty. To have liberty, doesn't one really need to examine the assertions of those in authority? With great care and utmost importance, before going to far lands to rage with machines against someone else's machines? Or do men just like to fight? Because I don't understand it, I confess, and I'm tired of being polite about it. If you are dropping bombs for me, I don't want it. And I don't want anyone to tell me they know more than I do, and that I don't know what's good for me.

I've spent twenty years of my life now trying to understand what's good for me and for the country. I knew nothing going in. I only knew I wasn't comfortable with the fairy-tale Santa-Claus versions of history that have been commodified and sold to us. Why isn't Harriet Tubman recognized and revered as the American hero of the stature she should have? Why aren't the people who fought slavery, and who smuggled slaves through the underground railroad, THOSE were the men fighting for freedom.

OH, freedom for black people~! Who cares! We don't associate with them, they're black for god's sake.

You should care, because we are all people. And as you do unto the least of them, so you do unto me, is what Jesus had to say about it. Not that anyone who quotes Jesus these days quotes that one, or any of the really nice things Jesus had to say. "I come not to bring peace, but a sword!" Just don't forget what Jesus did in the marketplace. The money changers were chased out of the temple with alacrity. It was one of the few times in bible stories that I can remember Jesus really getting outraged. And yet a friend told me Jesus wasn't "really" mad and didn't show any "temper." How does he know? And, that I had to render unto ceasar, blah blah blah. Fuck Ceasar if he's got me bent over staring at the tiles, looking for the soap on a rope in the foot-fungusy shower at the gym. He can bite me. I earn my keep, and then some. Ceasar should start to look at the assholes stealing *my* money is what I say. I don't care if they drive great cars and live in high-rises. They're just pushing papers around all day in that big men's club in the sky on Wall Street. They go home, what's accomplished? More papers got pushed around, more dealings, more maneuverings. More men screaming at the stock exchange and shoving each other like the young turks in Boystown, like young male bodies bumping at the nightclub to the beat of money, money, money. The notches are carved in their battle implements, but where's the added value? I'm not seeing it. I just read "Den of Thieves" again recently and it got me really pissed off, again.

But back to the original subject.

We have to know the truth before making war in other countries. We must. Otherwise we will not be free, no matter how many bombs we drop on people and children and supermarkets and hotels. The truth really is what sets us free and it is the fabric that holds us together. Lies can only drive us apart. Please come home and help us win the peace.

Sorry for ranting, I hope it doesn't sound that way. If you look on youtube about the world trade center, there is a lot of underground journalism going on now on 9/11. A good one to start with is World Trade Center 7 The Smoking Gun parts one and two. Then go from there and watch some of the other videos. This video by CBS News shows what happened the day before 9/11----Rummy announced 2.3 TRILLION dollars is missing from the Pentagon. This is One Day before 9/11. Did we ever hear about that 2.3 Trillion again? Did we get actual answers about 9/11? How come no one has explained to my satisfaction the matter of WTC 7? This is the only credible journalism going on now and it is not on TV. But you can watch it if you want.

The problem with world trade center building 7, the Solomon Building, is that it was not hit by an airplane and it was not hit by falling derbris like some other buildings were. It was slightly apart from the other buildings and did not fall down with them. Watch the videos of WTC 7 collapsing, they show in the films how it looks just like a controlled demoltion. The official story is the building fell "because of fire." But no steel building has ever before or since collapsed from fire----ever.

Also, BBC reported that the Solomon Building fell 20 minutes before it actually fell. The WTC 7 documentary has the actual news footage of this and it is quite startling and incomprehensible. Who told the anchor that the Solomon building had fallen? Because you can see it right behind the other anchor's head as she stands in the window. But that footage can no longer be accessed from the BBC; seems they have "lost" all video files from that day and that broadcast. Hm?

But people in newsrooms and with access to those videotapes of that day, all across the country, are reporting their findings on Youtube. Millions and millions of people are watching, and commenting, there. One video had thirteen MILLION watchers. Pages and pages of comments and discussion, much of it out-and-out brawling between colorful characters. THIS is my country!!!! I am proud of all those people who decided to do the right thing and try to figure out 9/11 on their own. Because our government isn't doing it. Not a peep about WTC 7. No one on TV is covering it, though all these millions of people are watching. That is scary. Do you really need to know anything more about what news you DON'T get from TV?

Then there were some guys in England assasinated for reasons likely having to do with their protests of the Iraq war. One was an influential professor and another a journalist. But these stories can only be found online, never made it to our shores. TV doesn't have this stuff. They won't touch it, because they're owned by interests that want us to stay at war. The compannies that own them own defense companies. They are invested in our having wars overseas. That is what they want. The government has been their puppet, the corporations and the Federal Reserve (which is private, not federal in any way--it is basically banker guys who have the country by the gonads right now by withdrawing credit, which they have done on a regular basis throughout history) and we've got a country badly in need of civic involvement. But it has to be informed and knowledgable involvement, otherwise it just benefits the people who want the public to get up a blood lust for an unseen enemy, and then send their sons away to be killed. To kill people in far lands who just don't want us in their country----as we would not want them in ours. What part of this is hard to comprehend? Why do people still believe Iraq had something to do with 9/11? Those guys were supposedly Saudi, who crashed these planes. But who remembers that now?

People in power have been lying about international matters, to our countrymen and their public, for a long time. The notion of public service is unidentifiable in the actions of so many of those we trust to represent us. They allow themselves to be the pampered pets of a system without integrity and tell themselves they are still fighting the good fight (and getting paid appropriately for their trouble). If you're not fighting for the truth, I've got news for you, you're not fighting the good fight.

The difference with Obama is best seen when you read his writing (he wrote a great book, The Audacity of Hope, it is a beautiful book about our country and has an amazing vision of this place that actually is hopeful.) He is a man whose entire career has been in public service; a man who has avidly studied history and past Presidents and their writings and their lives. He has also studied this country for as long as he's been alive to do it. His books are full of all kinds of observations from across life's broad spectrum. He is a thinker, and a wise man. He is not getting the support he needs from his party. People have brought guns to demonstrate at his speeches. We are in scary times. The lies are swirling even more hysterically, as people who recognize their waning influence grow furious at the loss of ass-kissing and scrambling to do their bidding. Men like this, who measure their importance by how many people will do their bidding, frighten me. That is the opposite of leadership. It is authoritarian, which was not a goal our Founders had in mind.

Obama seems to be trying to do the best he can admidst terrible criticism. The weirdness of our impossible situation seems to have made him lose a lot of joy, but I'm glad he stands up to them and tells it like it is. I hope they are doing OK. I like that family. How can you not like a family that turns the east wing of the white house into a jazz lounge? (they brought in Stevie Wonder that night, also cool) ;)

Just wind me up, I'll get started. How's December in Christianland? I liked Dallas a lot. Once I found KERA.

We just got a nice rain here and the day after rain, So Cal is breathtaking this time of year and when it rains, it's ridiculous...just gorgeous...

Friday, December 4, 2009

The Lonely Blog

sitting quietly...oh so quietly...the blog may have wiggled its left ear. or did it? perhaps it was moved by a serendipitous electron or a misfiring pixel. if no one is reading it, even if it wiggled, did it really?

in a conversation, do both parties have to talk? if two people sit at a table and only one that conversation or monologue. or if one speaks and months pass before the other replies does that change the nature of the exchange?

perhaps that's why it's called a blog because it sounds like blob, like blot...a thing that sits under the weight of its own function. to sit patiently still someone happens by and, maybe, takes a migratory interest.

Monday, October 26, 2009

tempting the tempest

our miraculous cruise

a sea party passed us as we ate great patches of pastrami on a rather weathered patio. I was particularly attracted to a furtive turtle in a girdle who was introduced as a girl trapped within herself till she sold her chateau for a scarf to cover her scars. she was warmed by the arm of a skinny latin fat cat in satin moccasins who annoyed us with his sarcastic moroccan maracas.

we feasted with some Sandinistas and fell strangely ill. our repast had caught up with us. luckily the ship's mystic therapist came to our rescue skewing our screwed up tubing with harmonious hypnosis using a mist incense to cure our psychosomatic neuroses. we regressed into the matchless recesses of subtle effervescent bubbles that knocked us off our land lubber rubber deck huggers.

the next morning we were loose from our mooring. the tide had lifted our ship and slipped us from our slippery slip and we found ourselves adrift among the dipping waves. that day we had tea on the high seas which pleased us sweetly.

we never felt dead. we still don't.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Scott Peterson Didn't Kill His Wife

We've got ourselves an innocent man on death row here in our beautiful, incomparable state of California.

Rights? You accused? You got no rights. Not to privacy in your own home, not to a fair trial, not to responsible journalism, not to reasonable doubt. Not to attorney-client privilege, and that's regardless of whether you've ever run afoul from the law atall. You got shit.

California Vs. Peterson---if you've been wondering where I'm at....over theyyyahhh.

Come see me, man. I need thinkers like you over there. This case truly blows my mind, because everyone really thinks he did it. But he didn't. The baby's bone growth proves it. The baby lived at LEAST six days, and that is the outer reaches of convservative in age estimation --beyond December 24, 2002, which is when Peterson's wife disappeared while he was out trying his new boat in Berkeley. Prosecution's own experts calculated the baby's age---except for the one expert whose fuzzy math magically managed to place the baby's age at 32 weeks (his age December 24th). The nifty number tweaking was beyond all the jury members except one. The one who got it--who got that Peterson didn't kill his wife, couldn't have, because after December 24th he was being tailed 24/7 by police who believed he was responsible for her disappearance---that guy got kicked off the jury. Lots of people got kicked off this jury----the whole case is a the mother of all clusterfucks. And it's a death penalty case. And it's scary.

so it's my latest obsession. Sorry for being so neglectful over here. Tell me what's goin on with you.

Friday, September 11, 2009

I have to say Obama found his way onto my short list of moving orators wednesday night. I've been impressed with him before but when he did that posthumous Kennedy letter close, I didn't shbluther, but I did tear up.

it occurred to me the secret is his black minister chops. the black church force is strong in him and I'm a sucker when it's done sincerely.

thing is it's pretty early in his career to be able to trigger that response in me. good for him and good for us. a great orator with a great heart is rare and quite the thrill.

now we'll see if he can defeat the idiot dragons. he's got the brain...let's see if he's got the balls. thing is it usually takes a few years to reach that level of strength.

he's off to a beautiful start. go, man, go.

Monday, August 31, 2009

I mean, hey...

if they werent incurious tunnel visioned oafs who have no reasonable understanding of the world they actually live in they wouldnt be saying most of the infinitely clueless bonehead slobbermouthed things they be spewing now would they???

my guess is they'd have a hard time spelling 50% of the words in that last querstion.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Anti-Reform Demonstrators Unable to Locate Iraq on Map of Middle East

Many town hall protesters enjoy boasting to federal lawmakers about how knowledgeable they are about public policy. For example, at a town hall meeting with Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) yesterday, an attendee stood up and declared, “I have taken the time to look at certain provisions of a bill on the Internet and I can quote…the sections and the page.” But the Omaha City Weekly went to a recent town hall hosted by Sen. Ben Nelson (D-NE) and found that the health care protesters actually aren’t all that informed about public policy. They asked 40 pro-reform and 40 anti-reform attendees to locate Iraq on a map. The results:

A full 75%, 30 of 40 pro-reform attendees, could identify Iraq in its rather eye-catching, dead center position on the map. Only 52.5 %, 21 of 40 anti-reformers could do so. [...]

More telling was the startling reactions I got while conducting the test. Pro-reform people, even those geographically challenged few who laughed out loud at the futility of the task before them, portrayed a uniformly agreeable front. Most gave a knowing, touch_-like nod and smile. I received no negative comments, none at all, from that group.

The same could not be said of the other camp. Far from it.

One gentleman practically knocked the clipboard out of my hand in jabbing - angrily and correctly – at the country that (John Kerry was right) represented the wrong war at the wrong time in the wrong place.

Many sneered. Most at least glowered. Four accused the test itself of being somehow biased.

One anti-reform Vietnam veteran also responded, “Why the hell should I care where Iraq is?”

story from

well, okay, back from taos. dammit....oh, it's cool. first week of class outta the way. hugely busy and rewarding year ahead. time to get busy even if I Am in dallas. at least I'm not in hoostun.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

still in taos

I've been in taos since august 3rd teaching at ft. burgwin...which I have to leave tomorrow. dammit. love the 1000 hand dance video. quite a production. quality stuff there.

my class has been a combination rock history/drum circle/facebook thing. I had 4 kids, then 1 got kicked out for drinking on campus. this is an abnormally upper class bunch o kids who think they're on vacation yet still most are respectful and take class time seriously so whatever.

the cool thing is the vibe. we dont lock our doors or our cars. the beauty and sanctity of the place creates a trusting environment that demands a kind of family respect. it's ineresting cause it's nothing like dallas where I tend to mistrust my neighbors cause you just dont know.

one other cool thing is I'm teaching in one of the archeology labs where the shelves are full of boxes of artifacts from the digs, including human skulls and

I had my friend Lauren Camp up from santa fe to read her poetry while we played drums last thursday and it was so cool for both performers and audience. I really like her stuff and her voice has a lot of character.

the pictures are obvious...all the drums I brought and the town at dusk.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Dance of the Thousand Hands

Read the paragraph below FIRST before you watch the video

There is an awesome dance, called the Thousand-Hand Guanyin, which is making the rounds across the net. Considering the tight coordination required, their accomplishment is nothing short of amazing, even if they were not all deaf. Yes, you read correctly. All 21 of the dancers are complete deaf-mutes. Relying only on signals from trainers at the four corners of the stage, these extraordinary dancers deliver a visual spectacle that is at once intricate and stirring.

Its first major international debut was in Athens at the closing ceremonies for the 2004 Paralympics. But it had long been in the repertoire of the Chinese Disabled People's Performing Art Troupe and had traveled to more than 40 countries.

Its lead dancer is 29 year old Tai Lihua, who has a BA from the Hubei Fine Arts Institute. The video was recorded in Beijing during the Spring Festival this year.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

People vs. Peterson

I did not write this, but found it in the comments on the Peterson family web site.

Proof Of Insufficient Evidence To Support The Verdict

Proof beyond a reasonable doubt was needed to support the jury’s finding that the killing of Laci Peterson was a first-degree murder by Scott Peterson. Jury instructions defined the necessary murder-one elements that must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt; i.e., willful (intended), premeditated and deliberated. Moreover, jury instructions also defined the necessary element for second-degree murder; i.e., malice aforethought.

In whole or in part, proof of premeditation, deliberation, intent and malice aforethought must be based on inculpatory evidence. Standing alone, corroborative evidence (consciousness of guilt, flight, dog evidence) is not sufficient to prove premeditation, deliberation, intent or malice aforethought.

An analysis of all possible sources of inculpatory evidence shows there is no inculpatory evidence the jury could have used in reaching its finding.

An eyewitness can not be a source of inculpatory evidence in this case, for no eyewitness testified at trial.

A confession can not be a source of inculpatory evidence in this case, for Scott has always maintained his innocence.

Time of death can not be a source of inculpatory evidence in this case, for there was no testimony that established either the day or the time of Laci's death or Connor's death.

Place of death can not be a source of inculpatory evidence in this case, for there was no testimony that established where they died.

Cause of death can not be a source of inculpatory evidence in this case, for the medical examiner, Dr. Brian Peterson, testified it could not be determined.

Neither a crime scene nor forensic evidence from a crime scene can be a source of inculpatory evidence in this case, for no one testified that a crime scene had been found.

Given that the above sources were void of inculpatory evidence, the only possible remaining source of inculpatory evidence would be motive.

On December 14, 2004, a juror, Greg Beratlis, took part in Larry King’s TV show on CNN. During the show, Larry King asked Greg Beratlis the following question.

”KING: And what do you think his motive was?”

”BERATLIS: You know, Larry, I think if we all knew the motive, if there was this one thing that stuck out, we'd probably have the answer to the whole thing.”

Greg Beratlis' "if/then" statement conditions deduction. Greg Beratlis, himself, is included in "We". At the very least, motive was unclear in his mind. For motive to have been used to support the jury’s first-degree murder verdict twelve jurors had to agree. Greg Beratlis proved that did not happen, which proves the jury reached its verdict absent motive.

Having eliminated motive as a possible source of inculpatory evidence, there are no other sources of inculpatory evidence that could have supplied evidence of premeditation, deliberation, intent and malice aforethought.

When all sources of inculpatory evidence cannot be the source the jury used to support its finding that premeditation and intent were proven beyond a reasonable doubt, then of logical necessity, the jury’s verdict either had to rely on impermissible speculation or had to be fallaciously derived.

Based on insufficient evidence, the verdicts should be reversed with jeopardy attached.

Monday, August 10, 2009

33 Vague Reasons to Assume the Worst of Scott Peterson

I have a fascination with all things that aren't as they appear to be.
I know what it's like to be wrongly accused. I know what it's like to be punished for things you didn't do. And, especially, I know what it's like to be accused of calculation, when all you're doing is experiencing so much pain and confusion, you can barely breathe, much less defend yourself.

So this is slightly about my own ghosts.

But, now I'm curious about the Peterson case. I bought the book by Anne Bird, "33 reasons my brother Scott Peterson is Guilty" because I like crime books. I especially like books that contain personal analysis of others, because sometimes they tell you something about the person being analyzed, and sometimes they tell you more about the person doing the analyzing---in fact, it goes both ways. My conclusion was that the author has known great darkness in her life...but not from Mr. Peterson.

This is audio and it's in two parts.

I have now bought a few other books on the case, to learn more. Maybe he did it...but halfway through the book the jury wrote (12 jurors, only 7 of them wanted their names on this book..even though it takes twelve to convict); and so far all I can see is a freak show of egotistical smalltown, smallminded bungling, with giant loonies like Nancy Grace breathing stench of hysteria into every corner of the entire television-saturated circus. And you know how I feel about television.

So for now, in case you're curious, here are Ms. Bird's 33 reasons, with some commentary.


I just finished "Presumed Guilty" by Matt Dalton. This is the biggest unreported
story of a railroaded jury that I have ever heard.

I'm not going to write about it right now, but I will put up some audio files. Download the windows media player and you should be able to listen. It's free.

Friday, July 31, 2009

these assholes can't get away with the 911 holocaust. they just can't!

come on all you guys who know something and all you leaders who want to clean that slate...let's roll!

American war criminals are not allowed any slack for whatever the hell they thought they were doing on that fateful day.

I Know you guys were puppets of a bigger machine and I'm absolutely sure They will give you guys up to save Their asses. Maybe someday we'll get them too but...FOR NOW...I'll personally settle with your beastly sins being cleansed in sweet retribution.

dammit if America is going to stand up again it has to shine Miss Liberty's light on this very dark place in its own history. turn the villains out in the square and let the stoning begin. bring out the horses and tie their arms and legs...draw and quarter each in turn...let their blood spray the population so we will never forget their cold-hearted crimes against their own. in the end hang each of their cursed heads from the Washington bridge and let them swing and rot till they crumble into the Hudson. let their stench remind us of the stench they left behind on America.

in the name of the needless deaths of the 3000 here and hundreds of thousands overseas including 5000 young Americans whose lives were taken away from them at the point of a pen, the world must see, we must reveal the horror. if we do not the many will continue to clinch their guts in shame for the shameless meaningless acts of a few.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Some Morning Conversation For U

The Life of a Hollywood Director (so glamorous)

(or: The Mother of All Excuses?)

conversations with Tim

Friday, July 24, 2009

World Trade Center 7 - The Smoking Gun of 9/11

Meanwhile, back at the ranch:

40 U.S. intelligence and counter-terrorism agents challenge official account of 9/11


William Christison, a 29-year CIA veteran, former National Intelligence Officer (NIO) and former Director of the CIA's Office of Regional and Political Analysis describes the 9/11 Commission Report as a “joke” and offers even more outspoken criticism. In a 2006 podcast interview by George Kenney of Electric Politics, Christison said, “We very seriously need an entirely new very high level and truly independent investigation of the events of 9/11. I think you almost have to look at the 9/11 Commission Report as a joke and not a serious piece of analysis at all.”

Terrell E. Arnold, MA – Former Deputy Director of Counter-Terrorism and Emergency Planning, U.S. State Department. Mr. Arnold is a leading expert on terrorism and counter-terrorism and the author of several books on the subjects. In an extensive article in July 2007, Mr. Arnold wrote, “Washington leadership keeps the American people fixated on the events of 9/11. They have brought us no closer than we were on September 12, 2001, to resolving how it was executed and by what enemy. They tell us repeatedly that it was the work of al Qaida, but they have yet to show us the proofs. They told us the official version of what happened that day, but their story is laced with contradictions, and the facts visible on the ground at the time belie much of the official account. ... As an alleged post 9/11 defense, the War on Terrorism is a gigantic fraud."

I mean-WoW.

What more does it take for some of this stuff to make it to Television?

You watch TV--have you ever seen programs on this stuff?

Have you ever looked around the web at the 9/11 stuff? Youtube's fucking scary.

And what's most scary is that our omnipresent Orwellian Propoganda Device, multiple devices found in each and every American home, the TV set, does not carry programming on this.

I am thinking about starting an Anti-TV website.

I remember Steve running around the halls of CBS News saying TV was a shit machine. No wonder he didn't last there.


That's Bob Cesca's headline for this one. Cesca is goddamn awesome, I don't know what I'd do without his blog.

Anyway, he writes:

The Senate Republican with the most influence over the future of healthcare in America wrote this on his Twitter today:

PTL BluDogs Keep barkin Pelosie bill is Govt takeovr of healthCare Breaks Obama promise"keep what u hv" Puts Wash Burocrats in chrg MUSTSTOP.


*banging head on desk*

Jesus H. Motherhumping Chuck Grassley.

On top of being completely incoherent and not unlike the scribblings of a 12-year-old girl in the margins of her math notebook, the ranking Republican on the Senate Finance Committee wrote PELOSIE?????!!!! He misspelled the last name of the Speaker of the House????!!!!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

listening to O

I'm struck as I always am at how thoughtful, measured, plain-spoken and focused this guy is. And I'm again amazed at the fact that I *admire* a President.

I liked Clinton in some ways; and in some ways he blew my mind because of all the terrible concentration of wealth/power that happened during his tenure. I couldn't believe that such a seemingly well-meaning President would let such things happen without a peep, or that he wouldn't say "This is Bullshit" in response to the Monica shit.

Monday, July 20, 2009

apartment life

I'm Loving living in these apartments. respect for borders has a lot to do with it. I used to feel antisocial cause I didnt interact with my neighbors in my old neighborhood. there was pressure to interact. not here, man. and the place is so well made it's as quiet or as social as opening the patio door.

there was this guy downstairs with huge dogs that should Never have been here. he kept them on the patio and they barked at worms and leaves. not cool. the good news is his girlfriend kicked him out and the dogs are gone and now it's back to being as peaceful as I want it to be.

my girlfriend bought a house and I may move in in a few years. but for now...this is Great. it aint LA but it's just what I need. mostly I love being anonymous and if I go outta town for a week or a month (which I'm about to do) I lock up and lawn, no car, no mail or papers, no worries of any sort...nobody knows if I'm there or not. beautiful.

what the Eff am i talking about at this godforsaken hour?

Every night here in Hollywood has a soundtrack and it varies from night to night, with layers of white sound from the whooshing streets and car alarms, to wafts of booming bass from any of the many automobiles crawling at any given time down side streets; the perfunctory comings and goings of neighbors, music blasting from a nearby apartment; and voices, punctuating the night in symphonies of mood, and nights like this, this is what I love best about living here: that the soundtrack is laughter and silliness and music. There are some new neighbors who moved in across the way, and they hit it off with the girls already there, and now they're having parties all the time. People hanging around outside, smoking, talking, just enjoying the night. Not sounding strained or unfun at all, ripples of laughter and shouts and teasing.....

I like living here, not because of anything but the people. Living in this exact spot feels way different than living in any of my other neighborhoods: Silverlake, Malibu, Venice, Santa Monica--I tried 'em all, but Hollywood has grabbed me in some way. The Hollywood flats, as a matter of fact---what I once thought of as urban wasteland, too rough-and-tumble to make a good place to live---has turned out to be the most vibrant and laid-back, interesting place. Now the voices are laughing, woman's voices, one of them hysterically telling a bizarre story about something that happened and the others howling with glee---that's the sound of a good neighborhood. Which this is. It is a noisy neighborhood, if things like this bother you. I always thought it would---but it doesn't. I feel safely private, people respect boundaries; but surrounded by life and sound and whatever that thing is that becomes the rhythm of a place.


charlie rose is talking with ambassador hill (our man in iraq) who's saying the problem with the middle east is the countries think they can control their neighbors...that the different sects dont understand they have to keep their fingers out of other sovereign nations.

fucking jesus, jack! how dare any american dignitary talk about keeping fingers out of their neighbor's pie. who freakin creAted the map of the middle east??? and not that long ago.

the west carved up persia and arabia and changed the borders based on mostly British and French influences. now we've gone in in our goddish way and anyone who thinks we're going to abandon our bases in the burbs anytime soon is living in a universe we havent seen lately.

check out the map above. A. Persia doesnt exist any more and B. that Red Zone (remind anyone of our Green 'Zone'?) was deClared under the diRect conTrol of the British. how fucking arrogant is THat?

that whole colonial thing was such outlaw scumbag scam! and WE still do it. that's as BUTTIFUL as it gets, doris. Sykes-Picot Agreement...which one of those guys was Arab?

answer: none of the above.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

they got the wrong guy!!!

I was looking up michael jackson images to accompany a note about how weird America is with its celebrity orgasms and this came up. it's labeled 'Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder at the Grammys.

really. I guess celebrities are interchangeable. does it matter anyway? some famous entertainer dies and we go down on our knees in a way we never would have in real life...yet we do it too much already.

I might feel differently if we actually cared about what they did. if we actually gave half a shit about their art and magic of their craft. if we as a culture truly cared about what art does to and for us. that is, if we revered the power of art and entertainment in our lives on a daily basis and were in awe of that mystical exchange to the point of wanting to understand it, wanting the essence of that exchange to mean something beyond the superficial way we download and debate who's cool and what IT is.

if we understood a bit of that we might truly understand the significance of it when a major conduit of what that is goes away. that would mean a whole lot more than, " we miss you, michael. we know you're looking down at us from the golden spires of heaven above. we'll see you there...someday (final sob deleted)."

there's no looking behind the story. 2 headlines: Beloved MJ Dies or Troubled Icon Passed Caring. that's it. oh, and Look at all the Freakin Fans. that's as much as we get. endless retrospectives on his heyday and how cool the moon walk is. there's no scratching the surface. they barely pawed the lid in the same place over and over.

whatever. do whatever you guys wanna do. it's none of my business.

but hey, mr. celebrity uploader...mistaking dylan for mj? whoa.

I guess we all look the same after a few years in the grave.

digging in

the best palin joke I heard was Conan, "President Obama is in Russia cause he knew from there he'd be able to see Sarah Palin cleaning out her desk."

the story was of immediate yet short lived interest to me. I can't imagine her being much of a threat to Obama unless he royally screws something up. in fact, I dont consider her much of a threat period.

America hates losers, especially big time election losers, and she's got all the loser cred you can get these days. I felt sorry for her when McCain tapped her back in the summer. it was obvious she was in over her head.

some day, after we make our way through all the skin color minorities, we might actually get down to accepting White Trash Americans. somewhere toward the end of the century. then maybe someone like Sarah will have more of a shot.

it does seem somewhat odd that the 'Love it or Leave it' culture was backing someone who indeed Had pretty much left it. you can't get much further away from the heartland of America.

oh, and of course you know I think Cheney's wrong about pretty much everything. all those guys who came up through Reagan and Bush, many starting back as far as Nixon, clearly have poison in their pens and turtle wax for brains. it's good they're out there for the rest of us to see.

I just wish we could get them on the gallows before they get too far back in them hills.

Almost Feel Bad For Palin ....well, sorta.

"If Dumbfvckistan is getting ready to secede, she may go down as their George Washington, the Hockey Mother of the Country."

Someone wrote that in the comments. I love the comments. Frickn comments crack me up.....and what also cracks me up is the idea of all these people sitting all over the world staring into screens with their eyes, and with their minds, into some shared inner space that the internets are carving out year by year.

I just love it too much.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A day with the Fids

fluffy kids is what we bird people call them.
someone told me "you're one of those weird bird people."
i wanted to go, "you're one of those weird Obama haters."
i didn't, though.

Why Cheney is Wrong about Torture

well, I mean, there are a whole bunch of reasons. but this one is pretty good.

A Memo To the President by William S. Lind

Try to imagine untangling these....and guess where it is

give up?

where we call to get technical help!!!!!!

Monday, July 6, 2009

dumb ad

I just heard a stupid radio ad. it went something like...

Small business is the life blood of America, a vital part of our new economy, far more important than those stodgy giant corporations who don't understand the value of innovation and a fresh approach. If you're a young company hoping to take America in a new direction call IBM today or visit us a we'll help get you started.

I'm not sure if that's more ironic or moronic.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

daddy dearest

after all the reports and interviews, why is old man jackson not under arrest for child abuse? when you get multiple accounts of "he beat us everyday" and you see the screwed up kids who came out of that environment why oh why is he not brought up on charges and sent up the river where our fine fellows in the big house can give him a proper reaming so he can die screaming as he righteously deserves?

we Have halls of justice in this country. they're called cell block C and D.


we talk about this in class every semester. people escape for a reason. we all do it, everyone all over the planet does it. some people cook, some people garden, some people smoke dope, everyone does Something.

adolescents have plenty of reasons to escape. adults have theirs. this is an escape. this blog, this internet, this computer. entertainment in general. why should drugs be off the list? it's an ingestible release like ice cream and aspirin.

the war on drugs is as stupid and asinine pursuit as any the world has ever seen. I would much rather see government declare war on pop up ads and billboards and telemarketers and price gouging. get between us and the People who are trying to exploit us, not between us and the escapes we choose.

Friday, July 3, 2009


OK, so I just posted that item which refers to drug abuse, and after I hit "publish" a big yellow ad came up onto the blogger page advertising treatment for drug abuse!

Is that kinda like Webmail where if you type tampon in your message, you'll get an ad for tampons? Or insurance and you get ads for insurance out the waz all down the side of the page?


The Establishment...The Man

I liked this..

"root causes are largely overlooked by adults. While adults will discuss the particulars (the effects), most ignore the underlying reasons which cause them. In other words, adults over 30 tend to forget about cause and effect. For example, few seem curious why kids use drugs... only their drug use is lambasted. Shouldn't the causes be attacked instead? The number one reason people use alcohol and drugs is to escape society's bizarre realities. Upsetting the natural order causes psychological damage and in the long run perilous to the species. It's not the role of government to administer private lives or habits. Pretence and hypocrisy, not its victims, should be dealt with.

By the time they're eighteen youngsters know the causes for most things even if they don’t know all the particulars an elder might. The reason most older people only concern themselves with the effects, and not the causes, is because they don't care about the big picture anymore. For example, while attention is often paid to the activities of congress, its corrupt nature is often overlooked or shelved. As long as societies are administered by elders these root problems will continue to be shelved... an ideal environment for the American establishment. Shelve it, ignore it, move on. The belief that any system which holds things together is better left undisturbed, regardless its judicial qualities, is wholly un-American. America, after all, was born of idealism."

more here
I love this quote from the LA Times' obit for MJ.

"Jackson was born Aug. 29, 1958, in Gary, Ind. His mother, Katherine, would say that there was something special about the fifth of her nine children. "I don't believe in reincarnation," she said, "but you know how babies move uncoordinated? He never moved that way. When he danced, it was like he was an older person."

The story about the mouse also really moved me. That he had a mouse he used to feed when he was really little, this house mouse, after everyone went to bed, he would crawl under the table in the kitchen and bring crackers and stuff and feed the mouse. He tamed it and wrote the song "Ben" about it. He said the mouse was a friend he could tell things to, that no one else wanted to or cared to hear.. You know he had a viciously abusive father, Joe, who beat them all and so terrified him, Michael, that he would throw up in terror when his father was looking for him.

Joe killed the mouse on purpose and it devastated him.

I'm trying to think of something more horrible, and coming up empty. No wonder the poor kid was so fucked up. Someone else was saying that after MJ died, his father was holding court outside the Encino house and smiling like a maniac. This was a guest on KABC who said this, a woman named "Crystal Ball" who said she grew up playing with the Jackson kids: she said Joe Jackson "never" smiled and that she couldn't get over how much he was smiling after MJ died. You could hear the anger in her voice.

Now as for the kids. It seems pretty clear he was a molester. There's no reason to be sleeping in bed with kids when you're a grown man. Not if they're not your own, man. It's just a thing. That's just a line you don't cross. But besides that, he really did do inappropriate sexual things. And parents didn't care, they brought their kids, got paid off or whatever, everyone was cool with it----Not, I'm sure. Someone's going to write a book about it. Just wait.

Having been in a family with a molester at its head, not my own family but one by marriage, I can tell anyone that molesters are not evil people; they are sick. What's evil is standing by and letting it happen. What's evil is anyone who doesn't stand up and confront shit that's wrong. And it's wrong. It causes so much unhappiness and fucked up emotional static that my own life still reels from the repercussions that affected everyone in the family. I'm blessed and lucky I didn't have that lot in life, but this person's crap did get passed down to me in a big way. Abuse takes different forms. And what almost always happens, if it's not stopped, is that everyone suffers.

And life's too short and too beautiful to suffer, you know? There's enough to suffer without having someone put their shit in a big wagon and hitch it to your ass to haul. And make you feel guilty if you don't want to haul it.

I know I'm talking in circles. What moves me is that this particular victim was a great entertainer. I dug that all night long last weekend, people driving through Hollywood honked all night outside my windows and blasted MJ music and honked and honked til the wee hours. I love living around that kind of respect for performance and entertainment.

The other stuff is tragic. It's tragic because it's kept such a secret and as such is not dealt with and healed properly.

Secrets kill.

That guy could have had a longer life. If ever someone's face showed that he couldn't carry the load of psychic pain alone, that would be MJ's face. He should have had treatment. Maybe his story will open up a dialogue about child abuse, who knows. Because God knows it's far more common than anyone ever thought. It's freaking everywhere. And it's not the end of the world. Things can change. But first someone's got to pay attention to them.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Trippy Kingdom: Satanism finds its vehicle in Pop Music

just go and click on any of the videos...

weirdly compelling
but not for the reasons they think, i'm afraid.

example: Madonna video, plays in the background with flashing images so you can see the unholiness of it all, while voiceovers and text on the screen tell you things like, "Madonna says crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them....Madonna also blasphemed the Lord by saying Jesus Christ and Mary Magdelene probably got it on..."

I know, I start poking around these corners of the internets, what am I supposed to do. Sit here at work, this great motherfucking toy sitting in front of me all day, a portal to the universe, ah Cain't help taking some of the weird side paths.

Tim thinks I'm insane and self-flagellating to look at stuff like this. I fully realize it's compulsive. Part of me is still continually trying to figure out who's crazy, Me or Them (who? there's always someone with whacked out ideas). Anyway, that's what I've got so far today.

Anyway, they're sponsored by Coca-Cola (bottle prominently featured on the screen so you can enjoy the idea of an icy cold coke while watching about Satanism in modern rock music....just sits there the whole time) so these guys must be OK, right?

They're making more money than we are.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Amazing Atheist on Jews and White Supremacy

World's Largest Skateboard

........also from Johnathan Alcorn

who I guess I'd better bookmark.

Sandstorm at Venice Beach Bike Path

thanks to jonathan alcorn

Woman Dies on Camera in Iran

Iranian regime targets family of 'Angel of Freedom' Neda Agha Soltan
Iranian security officials have begun pulling down posters of Neda Agha Soltan, the young woman who has become the face of the country's pro-democracy uprising after her death in Tehran was captured on video.

Relatives said images of Neda Agha Soltan, 27, who has been described as Iran's "Angel of Freedom" after she was shot dead on Saturday, had been targeted by plain-clothed officials.

They had removed any material commemorating the 27-year-old student that had been erected near her home by sympathisers in the Iranian capital.

Miss Agha Soltan was shot in the chest after she joined a protest near Azadi (Freedom) Square. Within hours an Iranian exile in Europe had posted pictures shot on mobile phones online and the scenes have been viewed by millions since.

Relatives said the authorities had insisted Miss Agha Soltan was buried in a cemetery plot reserved for slain "rioters" and that attempts to hold memorial services had been banned.

Hamid Panahi, her friend and music teacher, was with her when she died. He recounted hearing the crack of a bullet before she fell to the ground.

"We were stuck in traffic and we got out and stood to watch, and without her throwing a rock or anything they shot her," he said. "It was just one bullet."

After she fell to the ground, the tourism student cried out in pain. "I'm burning, I'm burning!" Mr Panahi said as he recalled her final words.

Friends who attended a wake at her parents middle-class home in Tehran said they had begged her not to go to the demonstrations, which came a day after Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei warned he would not take responsibility for bloodshed on the streets.

"I told her, 'Neda, don't go'," said a woman called Golshad. "She said, 'Don't worry. It's just one bullet and it's over'."

It was not the only occasion in which she alluded to the prospect of dying.

Miss Agha Soltan's boyfriend, Caspian Makan, a 37-year-old photojournalist who met her abroad, spoke of his girlfriend's determination to protest in the name of "freedom" as he spoke of his grief.

"Neda had said that even if she lost her life and got a bullet in her heart, she would carry on," said Mr Makan. "Unfortunately, that is how she died, a bullet hit her heart and her lung, and maybe 5 or 6 minutes later, she died."

He added: "She gave a big lesson to everyone even though she was very young.

"She only ever said that she wanted one thing, she wanted democracy and freedom for the people of Iran,"

Mr Panahi said that the student, who had studied philosophy, music and tourism, was not political but sought an outcome to the election which returned the incumbent president, Mahmoud Ahmadnejad, with a stunning 2:1 majority that was demonstrably fair. Opposition candidates have objected to the result claiming the election was rigged.

"She couldn't stand the injustice of it all," he said. "All she wanted was the proper vote of the people to be counted. She wanted to show with her presence that 'I'm here. I also voted. And my vote wasn't counted.' It was a very peaceful act of protest, without any violence."

Tehran's police chief, Azizollah Rajabzadeh, dismissed suggestions that official forces had opened fire on demonstrators with live rounds.

While officials have imposed harsh restrictions on the woman's family, they were not asked as other families of victims claimed for the £1,800 "bullet price" to compensate the state for the cost of the security operation that cost their lives.
Category: Education

Tags: only for adult people next video is crime to young women Iran Stop Religion Xtreme Extreme Iranian God David Chater Beit Hanoun Al Jazeera English Yehud Olmert IDF IAF Palestinian terror terrorism rocket missile airstrike hamas Islamic Jihad Qassam ישראל קסאם עזה חיל האוויר רקטות טרור דובר צהל צבא עופרת יצוקה AhMADinejad Bahai religion

Posted by Learsi1999 on Youtube

As horrible as this is, it seems important to post this. In the Vietnam era, we had television that actually reported news, because journalists were allowed to air images that brought right into living rooms the profound truth of what we were doing over there.

No such transparency now. The internets is the only place where we all can be in touch with the truth of what is happening through direct documentation unmediated by profit motive.

So there it is.

As awful as this is I feel I can't not post it. There is a terrible message for everyone here.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

From Steve the Cacti Doctor: Ultimate Potential Institute Out of Business

Our Good Night Sweet Prince.

Comment from LA Times story:

Something special and seemingly forgotten Michael Jackson did years ago in California... The first school shooting in my memory was in northern CA ~ It was in the 1980's and Michael was very popular at the time. The day after the shooting Michael showed up at the school, unannounced, for the children to help them through a difficult time. It didn't make big news but after that we knew Michael was a good person with a true love for people. He was a victim of the media and society which we always found very sad.

Posted by: j-dub

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Poem from December 2001

I was broken hearted over Joe Frank and blogging and visiting the Fam in Ohio and wrote this.

~my christ-mess present to myself;~

broad strokes of sunlight to power my flashlight; megawatts of passion from past obsession
to power my urge to do chores. buckets of tears from the bummerama,
to water the trees that grow new drama.
a pickaxe to carve stairs in the
slippery slope of who cares.


a pinch of whatever, a dose of forever
with 2/3 of never. blended with clever. and
strength and a lever. (from spanky, a feather.)

half a cup of sweat from an angry man's brow.
the corner of when at the opposite of now.
choked emotions tendered as art. the most tender part
of an artichoke's broken heart.

magnetic residue carefully scraped from a length
of forgotten quarter-inch tape. on which is recorded
the right answers to the wrong questions.

the tears of the harlot in the used
car lot. the echoes of a language
that could soothe her anguish.

with music from an orchestra
of broken instruments.

mixed at the precise speed of a man
escaping from can't and fleeing toward can.

salted with the condensation of ocean air
from a lonely night by the pacific,

divided by the square root
of unfair.

hello in there, hello in there.

who does your hair?





I used to write things down that people said

...and my aunt Joyce hated me for it. She thought I was laughing at them.

I was totally laughing *with* them, my cousins that is. We had these four cousins, all boys, that we hung out with. Those guys are more responsible than anyone for
my sensibilities and sense of humor. There's no such thing as a boring house with
four boys in it. Anyway, so I was socialized with boys. So I'm still pretty good with guys and not so good with women. But I really was laughing with them because
they were truly so fucking funny and noisy.

Found my journal from when i was 14. -i was writing down everything everyone said. seems like i was a real bitch to mel. here's a conversation i wrote down at gramma's house: w/me, mel, and matt, who were both 11 at the time.

matt: "know what this tastes like?"
mel: "what?"
matt: "cow dooey!"
matt: "hey, that's mom langley's candy!"
mel: "she said i could have some."
me: "you're a con artist, mel. she said not to eat anything till dinner."
matt: "yeah, MEL! mom langley, mel's eating."
gramma (in a pained voice): "kids!"
mel: "hey, gramma, do you want me to count your dimes today? i mean, your pennies."
gramma: "no, i'd rather you didn't."
mel: "i wanna count your pennies. cause, if i don't, i'll forget to."
gramma: "no, because all you kids, and it falls on the floor, and goofing off..."
melissa walks out of the bedroom with the jar of pennies. gramma is rendered speechless.
me: "how can you get your jollies out of counting pennies?"
mel: "15.....16.....17..."
matt: "let's make noises....aaaahhhhh, uhmmmm."
me: "melissa, how can you get your jollies out of counting pennies?"
mel: "24......25.....26...."
matt: "that's 200....."
me: "mel, how do you get your jollies out of counting pennies? come on...tell me."
matt: "how, mel?"
matt: "you have to count like this..nan-5, nan-6, nan-7, nan-8, nan-9, nan-10."
THUMP. me: "just thought i'd join you here on the floor, since you aren't answering me."
mel: "three dollars."
me: "can i count too? 1....2....3..."
matt(plops down on floor): "NOOOOOO!!!!!"
mel: "matt, you messed me up!!!"
matt: "whattaya eating, mel? huh?"
me: "huh? mel, whattaya eating?"
matt: "don't goof, mel, don't goof!"
me: "this candy's good. mel, beside the chair, mel, that you were eating."
matt: "wow, a CANADIAN PENNY!!!"
mel: "QUIT IT YOU GUYS!! YOU MESSED ME UP!! NOW I FORGOT HOW MUCH MONEY'S IN HERE!!! GRAMMA!!!!" (hits me in the small of the back. i giggle. she redumps the coins.)
matt: "wow! another canadian penny!"
mel: "matt, you're a faggot!! hands off it!!"
matt: "waaAAAAHHH!! AH-AH-WAH!!" he runs into the bedroom, then, after a few minutes, comes back. smacks mel. "HANDS OFF IT!" he mimics, then runs.
in a few minutes, he's back. "QUICK DRAW!" BOOM. "Pfffffttt!" (sticks out tongue). "hey, mel! lose count and i'll hit you with a rubber band!"
mel: "MATTHEW!!!!"
matt: (screams) "I'M THORRY!!!" (covers face with hands) hits her with the rubber band. "that hoit?" hits himself. "cow dooey!"
mel: "jello-breath!"
matt: (breathes in her face) "ha ha, you lost count again!"
mel (screams): "ONE!! TWO! THREE! FOUR!"
me (righteously): "ya'll! gramma's going to get upset!"
me: "ya'll!"
mel: "TEN!!!"
mel: "FAGGOT!" hits him. he gets up and runs out the door. she follows.


Monday, June 22, 2009

Sophia Loren...Mambo Italiano

You'll love this one!
Rosemary Clooney brings it!

Another Literal Video - Careless Whispers

Now..I actually like this song (and loved the video) quite a lot.

But I still found this fucking great. Right up to the end. At the very very end, they made a creative decision to keep something in that puts a nasty tone on the whole thing. But it's still a great video.

Total Eclipse of the Heart--Literal Video Version

perfect for a monday..a laugh, a cringe.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Who are all these people on their rooftops calling out to God?

From Andrew Sullivan's blog:

just go watch the video...incredibly moving.

Did you know that sometimes sloths continue to hang from branches even after they die?

I just read that somewhere and wanted to say it.

Nothing like the notion of ossified sloth on a hazy Friday afternoon. The air is truly bizarre over L.A. today. It's literally a light glowing grey-white but a little dirty around the edges. there are no clouds, it's just that foggy June "gloom" which is not gloomy at all, since it's not moist or annoying here inland. But it's an odd dim light which is the type I like best anyway.

I am very glad I can work in a job where the lights can be off and the music can be loud.

That's all that really matters, right?

Vaginas Should Smell Like Vaginas

OK, this is far more along the lines of the Friday entertainment I had in mind: and this wise woman speaks truth as well.

by Suzanne Reisman

While I was watching TV a few nights ago, a commercial for Vagisil ran. When the voice over announced that Vagisil could help cover crotch odors in addition to soothing embarrassing itch, I rolled my eyes. Then it hit me: it's been eons since I'd last seen a commercial for douche. Maybe we actually have made some progress when it comes to women hating their natural bodies less.

Douche commercials were a staple of TV when I was growing up. Generally, a mom and daughter would walk on the beach and discuss not feeling "fresh." I remember them being mocked on Saturday Night Live. Merely saying "that not so fresh feeling" can still evoke laughter with certain crowds.

While dumb douche commercials may be hilarious, douche really is no laughing matter. While I was in high school, my friend's mom (who was a nurse) would fly into a rage whenever she saw a douche ad. "Douching is like bathing a cat," she'd seethe. She explained that the chemical solutions strip the vagina of its natural lubricants, distorted the normal pH balance, and left the nether regions ripe for infections. "Don't ever use them," she needlessly cautioned us. (And definitely do not use douche as "protection" from unprotected sex – the fluids merely push sperm further up into the vagina.)

Not only is douche unhealthy, but it perpetuates the idea that vaginas and vulvas naturally smell bad. If the woman in the new Vagisil commercial can smell her crotch while fully clothed and standing in front of a mirror, she doesn't need a cream to cover it up – she needs a doctor to check it out. A woman who bathes on a regular basis and does not have a health issue should not worry about her snatch smelling like vagina. Vaginas should smell like vaginas, not like perfume.

What does douche smell like, anyway? Since I seem to have nothing more productive to do with my time, a few months ago, I did a small research project for my blog on the different douche scents that are still out there. I thought I'd find scents like Rose or Lilac. Little did I know that the latest trends in vaginal perfumes are head scratchers like "Tropical Rain," "Island Splash," and "Sweet Romance." Billychic fromThe Billychic Files and Ornery Woman commented on those weird "scents:"

Seriously...nothing gets me happier than the smell of lasagna or pizza...there you go. Pizza Cooter. If one has to douche, they could at least hook one up with that aromatic scent.

Jessica added:

I have always maintained that if women are douching because they want to smell "good" for their men - and want the men to enthusiastically eat the cooch - then douche should should smell like pretzels and BEER!

Personally, when interviewing new men, I want their favorite food to be sushi. Cuz I don't care what anyone says - a clean healthy snatch tastes like fresh oysters.

On a related post about douche equipment, Suebob noted, "You're just lucky they don't sell Soured Romance. Because that shit is nasty!" And that is the truth about all douche – it is nasty stuff. Women smell much better without it.

Douche is best used as the insult it is (such as, "Who's that douche who parked a U-Haul on the sidewalk, thus preventing me from reaching my apartment as there is no where to walk?!?!" which is what I thought on my way home from work tonight). It's bad for vaginal health and an affront to women, implying that our natural state of being is smelly and filthy. Ladies, for a happy hole, stay off the douche pipe!

Suzanne also blogs at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants